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Napa Letter: King Jarvis Speaks

Reflections on the war of the sexes.

What in the world is going on? I submit to you, that men are the new women. 

I know, you'll get over it. Most heterosexual men will not openly admit it because they like the " benefits." Women are glad. 

I thought that sexual equality meant just that: All things equal. However, it seems to me that men have been kowtowed into being pantywaists by women who threaten to foreclose on their "pudding".  

I don't care to see my president crying.  it proves or disproves nothing.            

It used to be that women dominated telephone usage. Now, for good, bad or indifference, dudes are punching away on these omnipresent mini keyboards as never before.  

This King is quite sure that a great percentage of texting is about minutia that in many cases, need not be Tweeted, but husbanded, freeing folk for more personal encounters.           

Another thing that is hilarious is this constant bombardment of pink.  Particularly, these behemoths in the NFL, who,  with no real guaranteed  contracts, have to nearly kill each other week in and week out so that they can be around to play another season. 

Then someone said:  "Let's make them wear pink, to help the women of the world. " The thing is, mostly MEN watch football, tomboys notwithstanding.  Guys aren't going to resist, because they want a happy abode and a wonderful meal when they hang up their cleats. 

If all things are equal, as alluded to earlier, then why don't we have blue days, where these men can sport that color in support of prostate cancer awareness?

Finally, we men are losing a lot of our staples.  Now many women are wearing huge men's watches. Weird. Taking from us again. 

Fashion comes, and fashion goes. What is not going away are these UBER high heels that the fair sex is wearing these days. 

Short guys, be strong, because you can even the odds when you are.....horizonal.

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Belle (Orchid Lady) December 04, 2012 at 09:09 PM
I guess you missed the fact that women make a huge part of the demographics something close to 51% of the people who enjoy football. I don't thing there can be that many of your so-called "tomboys" in existence. The NFL is actively engaging, along with companies, in more marketing aimed at women. Pay attention to the commercials and you will see what I am talking about. P.S. I am a HUGE football fan, and am not a tomboy.
Louisa Hufstader December 04, 2012 at 10:59 PM
A reader who prefers not to leave comments on the site has emailed to tell me the link above for Jarvis's email isn't working, and to say to him: "Your article makes it seem like your are afraid of losing your masculine facade... Pink is a color..not a gender marker..."
Scott Yeager December 05, 2012 at 12:57 AM
Ouch! My brain hurts.
King Jarvis IV December 05, 2012 at 01:16 AM
Cool. If pink is just a color, then why do you not see blue ribbons, cleats or headbands?
King Jarvis IV December 05, 2012 at 05:04 PM
On a totally unrelated note, we recently discovered ITunes U. It provides free lectures, talks and footage from hundreds and hundreds of colleges and universities. We just screened a lecture out of Oxford University focusing in on new perspectives on the first world war. Christmas just came early for this King. HRM

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